The Window and the Memories
The raindrops drizzling down the window matched her tears as if in a race to reach the ground. Occasionally she would turn around to stare at the empty room that was once their bedroom. Nothing remained but the newly purchased chair that she sat in, night and day, staring out the window. The window was the only part of the house that did not hold some memory of him. She struggled constantly to move about the void space, haunted by every second of the life they had shared. Her only solace from the insanity of his loss was that window.
The wall directly behind her was where he pushed her hard against it in one powerful, heated kiss. The wall to her right was where their bed once stood. The wall to her left was her vanity, where he would admire her beauty as she readied herself for the day ahead or for the night of romance to come. It honestly didn’t matter where that new chair was placed; his voice still resonated throughout their home. His laugher in the kitchen as she attempted to cook her first meal was as loud as ever. His sobs near the fireplace when he learned he must leave his love behind and venture on death’s journey echoed painfully. The straining of his body to breathe as he neared the end in that very room tore her heart to pieces regularly.
It didn’t matter that she rid their abode of every single item it once held, he was still there. Time, it had appeared, had not healed her. Two years had passed and she was no better than she was as his coffin was lowered to his well-deserved peace. He had suffered for so long. Now, she has taken upon the same role. She is not ravaged by disease, but grief. Loved ones have tried and tried but no one has yet been successful to rescue this maiden from her despair. She was hypnotized by the lights darting around on the street below, admiration for those who were able to enjoy the beauty around them. To her, she would never know normalcy in such a world. She peered at the tiny cars passing by, wondering to where they were rushing off. In her tower, she was trapped, and thoughts of others were only a minute distraction.
She opened the window and let the chilly night air touch her face. The rain misted in and only made her tear stained face even damper. She stepped out on to the edge exhilarated by the idea of being with him forever. He had promised that to her after all, and she wasn’t going to be denied that anymore. Her pale dressing gown flowed in the breeze as if she was already a specter of the afterlife. To her family, she truly was a mere ghost of herself. Honestly, what did it matter that she would no longer be on this earthly plane? Her burden to her family would be gone and she would live forever in the arms of her love.
As she threw herself forward, all the sadness subsided in an instant. She was a free soul now, and her smile was larger than it had been in years. The street rushing up on her disturbed her not. She closed her eyes, saw his face and her life faded quickly. And all of those lingering memories were no longer.
February 16, 2009