With Mother's Day fast approaching, I feel compelled to write an open letter to my mother...
Words do not do justice for all the love you gave me from the time I was but a small cell growing in your body until the day you had to leave me, to go home to our Lord. As a mother, I know there were times where you feel you failed me but I can guarantee you that you didn't. I am who I am thanks to your love and support. Your generous nature taught me to think of others first. Your sense of humor lives in me and I am so thankful for that. The beauty of nature and the world around you did not escape you and you passed that down to me, so much so that I have to fight the urge to take in strays be it animal or human! I never really understood the love you had for all six of us until I had children of my own. I now know it's so powerful, no matter what any child does or will do, I will not stop loving them. I understand you so much better, your sacrifices and why you did what you did to make my life better. I truly do regret not spending more time with you, not taking a few minutes out of each day to stop by and get a hug. I miss your jokes and your laughter, I can still hear it in my head. I miss bowling with you and playing bingo with you.
Some kids get embarrassed by their parents and their actions, but I never did with you. My friends all loved you, and thought of you as a "cool mom". They were right, you were. Even as an adult when I was on my own raising babies, if I was sick you were right there bringing chicken soup and whatever else I needed. You took care of me through everything, even my first pregnancy. When other parents would turn their backs on their pregnant, unmarried teen you stood by my side. When I chose to put her up for adoption, you were right there for me during the most difficult time in my life. I am so glad you got to know your grandchildren and they love you. I am only sorry you weren't around for Serenity, but I think you are here somewhere. I think you watch over her everyday. I don't think you would let even death keep you from your youngest grandchild, you are that strong! Your strength in certain situations amazed me. I suppose that is where I get my strength. No one knows the sacrifice you made, you told only me. You suffered silently to give me the life I had and I will love you forever for that. I will love you forever just for being my mom, my best friend, my confidante and my support. I will never let your memory die, it will live on in your grandchildren and their children.
I love you mommy,