Monday, October 15, 2012

Random Socks

There is no way in hell you can walk into my house and find it perfectly neat.  Let's face facts, I have teenagers, a toddler and have been sick for quite some time.  I have come to embrace the term "clutter".  I would not consider it disgusting, just messy.  Toys scattered, teens forgetting there is such a thing as a garbage can when it comes to soda cans, chip bags, etc.  Basically, it's totally and completely the "lived-in" look. 

Poking, prodding, grounding and the like just don't work when it comes to getting them to do chores.  The prodding is sounding better as long as it's a cattle prod and I am at the correct end of the stick!  They want MONEY now, for all they do.  UGH!  They have received allowance here and there, but it's never lasted for one reason for another.  They either slack off and don't deserve it or I just can't afford to fork it over.

What gets my goat the most (I honestly wish I had a goat to solve this issue), I mean, really sets me en fuego?


Yes, they toss their socks around like confetti and to make matters worse, my dog has a foot fetish.  At a minimum of five times a day I have to ask, "Kaylee has a sock, who's is it?"  and it totally grinds my gears.  She chews holes in them, hello!!  You all know this and yet you still toss your socks on the ground like some sock fairy is going to deposit them in the hampers.  Oh wait, I WAS the sock fairy for years!  If I do get that cattle prod, I will be the SHOCK FAIRY!  Zapping their little butts would just crack me up. 

I spent 10 minutes the other day JUST picking up socks!  How the dog manages to drag them to the places she does amazes me.  In a child's play tent?  Really?  OK, I get it, you must now be sneaky to eat the socks.  We have halted you from eating our shoes and now your foot fetish must be your deep, dark poochy secret.  I get that everyone has an addiction, but could you find a cheaper one, Kaylee?

How about a snack-food fetish?  Grab those soda cans and chips bags and march them to the trash for me.  Not only would it be awesome to teach you that, but helpful in the long run.  It's getting much too expensive to keep replacing socks that you only chew the HEEL on.  At least if you ate the toes off, we would have several pairs to make sock buns with! 

Oh yeah, and if we have to pull one more string out of your butt...

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