Saturday, May 12, 2012

The Proper Way to Mourn a Loved One

  No, I am not actually going to say what is the proper way to mourn the loss of someone you love.  That would be ridiculous, right?  If you nodded your head in agreement or said "yes", then please explain to me why so many people tell you what you should be doing?

  I have had a few friends lose loved ones in this past year and nothing has burnt me up more than seeing well-meaning advice being given concerning the grieving process.  Some have been told to start dating after losing a spouse, some have been told to go back to work immediately and more advice is to "start living" again.  Um, excuse me?  Are you a grief counselor?  NO?  Then please just show support and keep your thoughts to yourself. 

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, unless you go on a murderous rampage, that would be wrong.  Any other actions you do or don't do is right for YOU.  We have all mourned something in our lives, be it a spouse, pet, parent, child, etc. and how did you appreciate the advice you were given?  I bet it wasn't such a warm welcome. 

I am asking everyone to stop and think before you speak to someone that lost someone or something special in their lives.  Please, just show love and compassion, be a shoulder for them to lean on when it's requested of you, do not push yourself on to them.  Let them know you are there when or if they need you.  It's the best thing you can do. 

Remember, loss is loss.  There is no replacing that person or pet.  They are gone and someone is heart broken beyond belief.  It will take a lot of time and healing for them to become themselves again, don't expect them to be "whole" again for a long time, if ever.  They just lost a piece of themselves, part of their heart.  Show some respect. 

One of the worst things I have ever heard come out of a mouth after someone had a miscarriage was "well, you can always have another baby to replace the one you lost"... SERIOUSLY?   Like going out and getting pregnant right away is going to heal that mother's heart and replace every dream, every thought, every emotion she had for that infant she was carrying. 

Sorry for the rant, but the ignorance in people astounds me, even if it's with good intentions.

Remember this, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. 

Now back to what you were doing, go on!  There is nothing more to see here, people!

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