My 2 year old daughter's favorite stuffed animal in the world (at least at mommy's house anyway) is a half-blanket, half-rabbit that we have called Lovey Bunny since birth. I received it as a shower gift when I was pregnant with her and on the blanket part it says "Thank Heaven for Little Girls". It's so perfectly pink and soft and the moment I received it, I knew it would be special to her. I didn't realize how special it would become to me...
She doesn't part with it, she takes it where ever she wanders through the house. I don't let it leave the house for fear of her losing her best friend. She has a fit if she leaves it in one room and can't find it in the current room she is in, playing. It's best Lovey just stay here when she goes to Grandma's for the weekend, or an extra few days as this visit turned out to be.
Mind you, this last chemo was a rough one on my body. The energy loss was worse and the heart racing hasn't stopped yet, although it usually does. I have felt like I was on my death-bed. Truly. I didn't have Reni here to make me smile, laugh and giggle along with her as we played and tickled each other. The other kids are so much older and they have their plans, their friends and their precious video games... and they would get mad if I chased them to tickle them. Oh yeah, no energy to chase them, at least Reni sits still for it.
Being very sad and depressed over how I was feeling all day yesterday and into the evening, I needed comfort. Something. Anything. Teenage boys, ha! Their version of comfort is to throw you a tissue when you are crying and shoot you a look like you are a three-headed alien! My teenage daughter was at a sleepover, so no compassion from her either. It's hard when you are a single mom, where do you turn when you need comfort, some TLC and love? LOVEY BUNNY! If it works for Reni, maybe it will work for mom.
That little bunny/blanket worked miracles. Not only did it ease the pain of Reni being gone on a visit to grandma's house, but it eased my discomfort. I understand why she loves her so, this sweet, pink little bunny. I know Lovey Bunny has no magical powers, but magic did occur. I felt close to my daughter just by cuddling her Lovey. It made me smile. I fell asleep cradling Lovey Bunny in my arms and woke up with her in nearly the same position. I am looking forward to Wednesday when I can give my own Lovey a big hug and kiss, I have missed her so much while she was gone. When I feel like utter crap, I really don't like Reni gone, her pure soul and beautiful spirit raise my own through the stratosphere. Family is important to me and keeping her Grandmother in her life is as well. Next time, maybe it won't be for so long. If it is, I at least have a new companion.