Sex...The Final Frontier

WARNING:  ADULT CONTENT!

  Normally I get enough sleep... I really do.  My brain has time to reboot and not think of all this crazy crap.  Lately, it's just not the case.  So, here is a bit of what went on in my "warped" mind last night as I attempted to doze off.  Please notice that I said attempted, once you read these thoughts, you will understand why it was a fail.

Star Trek sex.

How many green girls did Kirk actually bang?  How many blue?  Were there any other colors we don't know about?  Did he screw the entire female crew?

How do we know that "Bones" actually got his name from being a doctor, maybe he was hung like a horse!!

When the crew landed on that planet with the seeds that gave you feelings, I believe the episode was "This Side of Paradise", did that mean Spock got finally got laid?  I know, Pon Farr and all that... but seven years?  Dude, that just isn't right.  He HAD to have gotten freaky then and a few other times he was riddled with emotions.  Just think of the crying fest he had when he realized how long it had been since he had a good blow job, let alone an alien piece of ass!

Chekov and Sulu... pity fucks.  I know it.  Either that, or they were used to get on the Enterprise.  Hell, I would use one of them to hop on that baby just to see the inside!

How much damage could Worf do?  I mean really!!  Give me a beastly man any day.  You KNOW those ladies were begging him.  His forehead did look like a mean french tickler!

Now we all know that Data was "anatomically correct" as we found out thanks to Lt. Tasha Yar.  Once he got his emotion chip, I bet that boy was humping everything in sight!  Think about it, he had to try everything, experience every emotion, so you know he was going to town, at warp speed!

My favorite thought of the night though was Deanna Troi, the Betazoid.  She's an empath, which means she feels what others feel.  How cool would it be to be her during sex!  You know she not only feels what a woman feels but she can also feel what a man feels!!  Whoa, mind blown!  Riker didn't give her enough though, she was one uptight bitch.  Her mother, on the other hand, you can pretty much tell really got into the kinky crap. 

I didn't really get into any of the other characters, just these few.  It's odd what insomnia can do to the mind!  It odd that I remember these thoughts after being so sleep deprived.  It's odd that I am having these thoughts! 

Don't any of you other fans lie either, you have all wondered the same things.  I just had to be the one to write them down. 

Ok, this rant is over.  Thank you Julie, for the pictures of your Kirk and Spock action figures that probably sent my mind off on this tirade.  I love you!